The Thought I Woke Up With #230

My sinful dream

I had what seemed like a dream, dear reader, but it wasn’t really. It was a deep thought. It was one of those random power-thoughts that transport you into a scenario where it looks and feels pretty real. You know the kind of thought I’m talking about, everyone has them.

Anyway, there I am, in court. But not like the District Court, High Court or Supreme Court, this was THE Court. You know, with god as the judge and a bunch of dudes (no women) on either side, and I was being judged.

I have a court appointed defense lawyer. Well not exactly a lawyer exactly as such, it’s Jesus. He looked worried.

What did god look like? He looked a lot like Santa Claus … only sterner and grumpier. Where’s the love, I felt like asking but thought better of it.

One of the dudes to god’s left cleared his throat and with great ceremonial aplomb, opened a big, very important looking book. He glanced across at god, who paid him no mind and looked like he’d rather be playing golf or throwing thunderbolts at those lucky enough to actually be playing. Envy?

Not getting a response the dude with the book, peered into it, looked at me, smirked, then returned his attention to the book. “Prideful,” he said slowly, then continues, “Wrathful, Avaricious, Slothful, Lustful, Envious and Gluttonous.” He smiled as if he’d just won the trifecta and closed the book. “All seven,” he said looking at god, who glared at me. He might look like Santa but without the jollies.

I never thought I was perfect but to hit all seven deadly sins? Oh my. I looked across at my defense. His brow was deeply furrowed. I leaned across, Jesus met me half way, “I didn’t do it,” I whispered. He didn’t answer but gave the, ‘that’s what they all say look.’

Suddenly I felt a little worried. I started running the seven, through my mind. Prideful? Okay, I may have admiringly checked myself out when passing the odd plateglass window … and yes there were those way cool flared pants back in the day. I did feel pride when wearing them. Didn’t do anyone any harm though. But god did throw Satan out of heaven for, Becoming proud on account of his beauty, and corrupting his wisdom because of his splendour. So god threw him to the earth.

“Wrathful, yes, getting angry used to be a thing. Temper used to be an issue. But I thought I’d fixed that and it’s not like I was some kind of Cain, I don’t even have a brother to do harm to. Doesn’t count? Right!

Avaricious, now you could say a lot of things about me, but greedy? No way. Jesus gave me the old, ‘yes I understand, but …’

Slothful, “I am not a sloth,” I resolutely whispered to my defence. He just smiled. “What about the double shifts I used to work? The long hours?” I got the same look. “Alright, so there were times I spent daydreaming and riding around on my motorcycle just for fun. Surely that doesn’t count as idleness and slothfulness?” You guessed it, the smile again.

Lustful, guilty as charged here. I did lust after young ladies and cars in my youth. I’m no Marquis de Sade though. He was reading my thoughts, just smiled that, increasingly maddening, benevolent smile.

Envious, never did envy, I was sure. He looked at me. I remembered the time I was a little envious of a guy whose bike was much nicer than mine. And the time I wished I was Elvis and had Anne Margaret as a girlfriend. How does that count? I was a teenager? Apparently it counts.

Gluttonous, now here I draw the line. I was never … second thoughts, forget it, there have been a few times I ate way too much. Thought that was normal.

I leaned over to my defense again. He was listening earnestly. “I love you and everything, right. But you’re fired.” Guess what the response was?

That was where the power-thought ended.

It seems dear reader, that if you believe in the sin there isn’t much you can do that doesn’t land you in deep poo-poo. Just going through a single, seemingly normal day, will result in much sinful activity of some kind or other. And once you’ve “sinned,” you’re a sinner. That’s it,

Sin is a ridiculous concept, designed and implemented by a ridiculous thought system.

Making mistakes, certainly.

Bad calls, most assuredly.

Flawed judgments. Yes.

Here is the difference however. Mistakes can be corrected. Bad calls reversed and flawed judgments amended.

And just by and by, the Creator doesn’t keep track and score, only the ego created gods and prophets do.

Until tomorrow,


The Thought I Woke Up With #230

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