Accepting self is a challenge for most people. When you look at it logically it ought to be the easiest thing in the world. We are talking about accepting ourselves, not some dangerous beast that will strike out and smite you dead, as they say in the classics.
I believe the reason we don’t go looking for, and at, ourselves is because we are afraid of what we might find. So we adopt the old ignorance is bliss approach and skirt around the edges. The problem with that game is by not self-examining, we waste so much time.
I address this issue in my book, Him & Me. Below is a brief excerpt.
How do you feel about yourself? Do you think that you’re never going to live up to expectations? Never to be the success they said you should be? That you are not beautiful, smart or desirable enough? Never make it into the beautiful people league. Or perhaps you don’t think you’re worthy?
Perhaps you see yourself as an angry and bitter individual whose life is peppered with incidents of malice and meanness.
Are you possibly in your own eyes a betrayer, a cheat, a liar or worse? Or have you assessed yourself as a perennial victim upon whom life dumps one malevolent burden after another.
Maybe you perceive your situation differently still. Leaving it to those around you to set your worth.
It could be that you at this time find yourself in a place from which you cannot see an escape, no way out.
Worse still, do you see yourself dumped and abandoned, even by god?
No matter how you see yourself, what your behaviour presents you as or where you find yourself right now, listen well. Your earthly being and experience is not your reality.
Further, no matter what you have done, or think you’ve done, you are not beyond redemption.
Neither you nor anyone else is damned, doomed and destined to a life of misery and pain. And if you believe in the eternal damnation deal, you need a spiritual kick in your spiritual butt.
Your release is not only possible, it was completed in the same instant you decided to detach. In that instant when you the child of Love decided to experiment outside of the realms of Creation your return was implemented. You are as safe, as secure and as loved as you have ever been. It is only in your own still-mistaken mind that time and space appear to play a role. This delusion you will soon wake from. For the time being accept yourself as you are.
If life has been cruel, accept that as being your lot up until now and determine to figure it out, to bring to the light the reasons for it being as it has been.
You will find that when you genuinely accept yourself, warts and all, you will feel better immediately.
I use the term you must very rarely. I use it now because it is so important to accept things as they are. When this is done, the healing will start.
Find your life means finding your way. Your way is being blocked and covered by various things. Things like guilt, fear, hate, shame and inadequacy are some of the blocks preventing people from setting foot on the path called this is my life
Self-acceptance is one of the most beautiful, glorious and important things you are capable of achieving on this planet. Accepting yourself and your situation is pivotal to the commencement of the way to Love.
To accept yourself, you do not need to do anything magical, perform anything spectacular or make sacrifices. Just observe what comes into your mind. How it makes you feel. Don’t run from the thoughts and feelings. Don’t push them away. Accept them
Running away from, feeling guilty about and fearful of thoughts and feelings is what keeps them alive, energised, active and frightening.
And remember, you can be on your way to love and redemption, whilst at the same time having a little professional help if revisiting certain aspects of life proves too much for you to deal with. No shame in that. As Chuang Tzu said, Do not reject what is of Heaven, do not neglect what is of man, and you will be close to the attainment of Truth.