Love and Wild Flowers
You know what used to puzzle me, dear reader? People saying things to their partners in company of others, i.e. at a dinner party, or BBQ or over a few drinks with friends, etcetera and always under the guise of humour what they seemingly wouldn’t or couldn’t say where it mattered; in private.
The more common points of discussion were things like complaints about intimacy. It would appear men were predominantly the ones hard done by, so to speak. Occasionally a woman would pipe up and express disappointment in the bedroom department but mainly it was the men.
Other dinner complaints disguised as flippant banter included one of the partners being a spendthrift, inability to cook, housework, the in-laws, not being in touch with a partners feelings, he / she doesn’t understand me, watching too much television and son on.
Every so often you’d come across a couple though, who didn’t indulge. They’d talk about things as a joint effort and generally appeared happy.
Back in the day I couldn’t really understand why such simple issues weren’t discussed and sorted. Now I see such expressions between couples in a different light.
They are incapable of sorting these seemingly minor issues out because they cannot communicate. Most efforts at genuine communication are snuffed out before they start. Finger pointing and accusations are thrown about and the whole thing ends in she’s a so and so I can’t talk to her, and vise versa.
But this inability, or actually this refusal, by one or both partners to discuss and resolve has nothing to do with communication. It has everything to do with the absence of true love.
Being in a long term relationship isn’t a sign of relationship success, all too often it is often a sign of several other things. Things like, fear to make a break, actually liking the tension and associated toxicity the relationship provides, insecurity, deep down self loathing- I don’t deserve better- conditioning, and so on and so forth.
Sad? No. Human.
Yes dear reader, it is a human condition to be unhappy and relationships are just another vehicle that provide it.
When a person decides to be truly happy, they will gravitate towards people and situations that provide for that want. That need indeed. A truly happy person will not be able to stand being locked in a association with a grouchy, crabby, peevish partner. Not for long anyway.
Mr Happy staying hooked up with Ms Misery is like Love trying to cohabit with Hate. Not possible.
Deep and effective communication is essential to successful relationships. I put it to you that deep and effective communication is not possible without genuine love.
Sex is more than possible without love. Living a fulfilling, spiritually rewarding life with another isn’t.
When two meet, and join in genuine love, they by default create a third energy, and within that third energy both blossom and thrive like wild flowers.
Two such people can even go their separate ways but their love lasts forever. Such is the power.