Used to be a time a Dear John letter was the way to end a relationship. It covered everyone, Michael’s and Peter’s and Arthur’s. Jack’s and Brian’s, Adam’s and Georges. It covered all. Dear John meant, this relationship is over, goodbye.
The term Dear John was coined by US servicemen stationed overseas, during WW2, as wives and girlfriends got tired of waiting and decided to find comfort in the arms of men back home. The gist of these letters was summed up in the Democrat and Chronicle newspaper in 1945 as follows:
“Dear John, I have found someone else whom I think the world of. I think the only way out is for us to get a divorce.”
So picture it, dear reader, there they are, these soldiers, risking life and limb, ducking bombs and dodging bullets, fighting for god and country, or so the posters read, and the ever-loving partners back home are doing the monkey with new loves. Warms the cockles of your heart don’ it. Gotta love relationships!
Why am I talking about this? Because all relationships are doomed. Yes. Time runs out on all relationships. A relationship is ego’s version of love. And since ego is the direct opposite of love, so are its unions.
Love and relationships are like oil and water. Incapable of ever coexisting and never destined to; a person in love will never write a Dear John letter.
People in love have no need for formalities. Indeed they do not understand such things. We are in a relationship so I expect you to wear this, never that. Speak appropriately and never behave in a way that will embarrass us … These are often about meanness, insecurity and snobbish je ne sais quoi.
People in love don’t need a rulebook. They don’t need to be told how to be, what to do, or, how to behave around each other. All adjustments are made simply and naturally.
Being in love can be difficult however. Not because love itself is difficult. On the contrary, love is as easy as Sunday morning, as the song goes. What is to be guarded against during the early stages in particular, is the burden called a relationship.
So be aware, be mindful, that a relationship doesn’t trample over love.
Love is a beautiful, soft and charming melody, a union of souls. A relationship is a song of the dead.