People keep saying how relationships require constant work and attention. They even use analogies like, ‘a relationship is like a garden, it needs constant watering, weeding and tender loving care.’ Great. What if you don’t like gardening though?
I am saying that tongue in cheek but think about it. A relationship that needs constant vigilance and alertness has got to be chronically defective. Doesn’t it? Doesn’t love come naturally? Or can it be made to order, like a fat juicy burger?
A relationship that needs to be under repair at all times is like a rust-ridden car body; always being patched. I had a car like that in my youth, when I couldn’t afford a sound vehicle. Tell you one thing about that car, I never felt secure and relaxed riding around in it; always worried about bits falling off and things going wrong– which they did, on a regular bases. Had the odd relationship like that too back in the day come to think of it; felt similar. So the analogy is good.
To be constantly working and vigilantly tending to anything is boring, tedious, tiring and unhealthy.
If you’re constantly in the grips of hard labour when it comes to your relationship, when do you actually get to enjoy it?
The time to work on the relationship is before it becomes a relationship. By work I mean being completely honest and natural around your love interest. Just be yourself. Equally encourage and allow them to be likewise. By doing that, you will show them what you are about, and they will show you the same. Then, under those conditions, you will both be in a position to look at the prime reality behind any successful relationship, compatibility.
Compatibility is key. Compatibility is the fuel. Without compatibility your relationship vehicle will stall and more than likely end up on the scrapheap.
Under the compatibility umbrella fall things such as financial goals, sexual pursuits, emotional traits, career and family aspirations, spiritual beliefs, mutual respect and appreciation, amongst other things.
Human relationships will never be perfect. And there will be times when you just do as the spirit moves you, as love moves you. That’s just the way it is.
That said though, spending a bit of time evaluating things up front, may just save you years of heartburns and headaches.