You REALLY should do that!
No. Not that, do this!
I know what works, and I’m telling you, do it this way!
If only you tried harder, you’d be such a better person. Why are you so stubborn?
You are driving me crazy. Stop it. Change already.
You want to stay with me? You must change!
Listen here bitch! Either learn to shut your mouth or I’ll shut it for you, again!
The above, my dear reader, is one of life’s biggies. The You Should. Everyone has been told it, at one time or another.
Couples enter into life-relationships under the pretense that one lover / partner, will change the other, or, they deliberately overlook habits and personality traits they don’t like or that at best annoy them, under the guise that those things will work out due to the“positive influence”of the other party.
It happens all the time, and it happens with almost all relationships to some degree. Sometimes the change does happen, mostly however, it doesn’t. Not to the point required for joy and happiness to envelop the union.
What isn’t seen however, is the often unseen change. By that I mean, unions of any kind do not happen by accident. There really is no random joining. Everyone gets exactly what they seek. Difficult lesson to digest but a precisely accurate one.
“Why the hell, would I invite bile outbursts, and physical violence into my life, you fool!” Some would scream. Or worse still, “Why would I bring kids into such an environment?”
First point first. We invite the so called unwanted situations and scenarios into our lives because those things teach the most meaningful lessons. These are lessons that remove blocks and bring us closer to the ultimate reunification with Creation.
You see, the abomination of it is that ego, and it’s self-help servants, have sold the Enlightenment process as some kind of fuzzy-wuzzy, just smile and be positive, the universe will provide, there’s no pain, fairytale.
That is such a lie there are no words to describe it. It may be unfortunate, it may even be tragic, but it is true; human beings learn their most profound lessons, meaningful and freeing lessons, through painful circumstances.
How do you get through rock? You blow your way through it. How does the surgeon get rid of a deadly growth? He cuts it out.
Now, before anyone gets confused, I’m not encouraging anyone to deliberately go out and embroil themselves in the worst relationship, with the most violent, vile and ugly- on the inside- human you they can find. No. That’d be silly.
What I am saying is, things happen for a reason and everything that happens can be used for the freedom of the soul, a freedom that brings one closer to ultimate joy.
Nor am I saying there aren’t happy, joyful and loving lessons in life. Of course there are. Indeed the further along the Enlightenment path one moves the lighter and happier the lessons become.
What I am saying is do not discount the seemingly ugly and painful because behind the pain wait love and freedom. Learn to see that. Learn to learn from that.
Now the second question. Why would I bring kids into a so called ugly environment, deliberately?
Because there are many who have kids to; “Save the relationship.” Wrongly believing that having a child will change a person. It doesn’t.
Also, children are souls. They are not second-rate creations of yours. Nor are children mum and dad’s property. The great Khalil Gibran put it this way;
Your children are not your children
They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.
Children will grow and settle into their own missions. Such is life.