It could have been better
And they lived happily ever after. Hasn’t that got a lovely ring to it? Just saying it brings a smile to the lips, a warm glow to the heart and inspiration to the soul.
But alas the phrase is but a piece of fairy tale cock-and-bull.
If you’ve ever wondered why there are no sequels to all those popular fairy tales, now you know; their popular ending precludes it .
Imagine visiting Rapunzel and her prince twenty years after the prince found her in the wilderness, where he’d wandered around blind, bumping into trees, walking into bushes, disturbing bears, savage wolves, cantankerous badgers and all manner of wildlife. As soon as he found her, she kissed him and his sight was restored. Just like that. Who said a kiss was just a kiss?
So the prince gathered up his beloved, meters of her hair, their twins (conceived out of wedlock when the prince used to sneak into the tower, via her hair, on a nightly bases. (Clearly the horny little buggers didn’t use protection) and took them all to his kingdom to ahem, you know, live happily ever after.
Now lets fast forward 20 years. The prince is bald; his fondness for pigeon pie and ale have him sporting a champion size beer gut, because of which he wears loose, unattractive frocks. His prospects of becoming king any time soon are almost zero; his dad looks like living forever. He hasn’t had coitus in a very long time and generally is a bitter and twisted individual.
The twins have left home to live with a mysterious woodsman whom they call “uncle.” They visit the prince rarely and only when they need money.
Rapunzel has a trendy new hairdo, has lost a lot of weight, wears the latest French creations and visits the kids a lot, staying with them in the mysterious woodsman’s hut for weeks at a time. She tells the prince it’s because she needs to look after the kids.
Where’s the happily ever after gone?
Well dear reader, I have the answer. And I will share it with you right now. You see, this , sneaky, treacherous little thing called, It could have been better, killed it.
See, nothing is ever good enough for long. Anything we buy or achieve or get is soon boring, old, out-dated, under-performing or just uncool. There is always a better model, a higher position, a faster time to achieve, a shapelier body to attract or sculpt. This includes love and relationships.
The question therefore is not how do I get that. The question is why am I like this?
And the answer is, I’m happy with what I have.