There seem to be quite a lot of people looking, and waiting for, a soul mate. That their odds of finding such a creature are on par with chancing upon the holy grail, the Loch Ness Monster, Nessie to his friends, that illusive unicorn or the perfect soufflé aside, there is a darker, genuinely injurious to self consequence to such fantasies. You see, this waiting for and fantasizing about a soul mate puts on the backburner self-realization and liberation from the pains, delusions and general vagaries of ego life.
What got me thinking about this? I was leafing through a book of mine and came across a long forgotten chapter on the subject. That in turn led to a Twitter post and finally this piece. Never ceases to amaze how one small thing leads to another.
Some may consider me a killjoy for airing my view of the soulmate theory as no more than a fantasy.
Let’s consider what the vast majority really mean when they say, soul mate. They really mean a person who fits their idea of such. Never mind the fact that some of the most mind blowing and profound learning experiences arise out of liaisons with persons one would consider anything but soul mates.
Life in ego is about undoing, and at times downright shattering, those things that need to be undone so as to extract oneself from ego.
Waiting for a so called soul mate not only offers nothing towards the undoing process it adds to it. It adds to it because the whole concept is an illusion. Here are some of the ego-based versions of a soul mate: A person with fair skin and temperament to match. A whimsical beauty with unkempt chestnut hair, eyes like midnight, cool with coarse hands and a penchant for whistling. A Christian swinger. Must be able to cook frog’s legs, speak French and do karate.
The above are just a tiny sample of what people consider soul mates.How long before those people, even if they find someone like they describe, become bored and change the soul mate profile. It is folly. Let life come as it should and bring with it everyone that needs to be in it.
Whilst ever you are looking for something or someone to fulfill you- you will remain unfulfilled.
Living a loving lifestyle means people being in a natural and free state of mind and expression. Do your thing as the saying goes. With that goes the one critical responsibility- Reciprocate. That is to say allow everyone else the same right and opportunity.
Seeking partners with particular looks, likes, dislikes, fetishes or healthy bank balances is fine. Whatever. Do not however put your life on hold waiting for a myth.
And remember this, before you can find a soul mate you must first find your soul.
See you on the bright side.