HOW TO FIND LOVE AND HAPPINESS

Have you ever felt flatter than a rabbit run over by a 24-wheeler, for no apparent reason?

It’d be fair to say just about every human has had his and her fair share of those. Anyone who says they’ve never experienced those days is shall we say, telling little fibbies or has short-term memory issues that may need immediate looking into.

I am talking about the down-days when you feel like crap and no amount of happy-snappy-peppy-self-talk, pleading with the universe; reaffirming or positive mental flag-waving makes any difference. Days when that something has a hold of you tighter than a pit-bull locked onto a juicy bone. At least with a pit-bull you can use a nifty little technique where you stick a finger up its butt the surprise of which makes it unclench. Please note I have not personally tried this technique and am in no way endorsing or encouraging it. With a bummer day, no pun intended, there is no such nifty little trick. As much as you’d at times love to ram the finger up life.

Yet the popcorn philosophy peddlers smile their contrived smiles and dismissively tell you that everything is fixable. Just be positive. Buy the latest book, get the CD, go to a seminar, and all will be fixed.

If only it were that simple. If it were that shallow and facile everyone would be living the life of Riley wouldn’t they. It would only take one book and hey presto. But, it never was nor will it ever be that simple.

No amount of reading, praying, positive thinking, jumping up and down in front of a mirror, reaffirming the law of attraction or being a Mr or Ms Nice Person will do it.

How do I know? Because apart from years of working with, and being around, people who have spent large amounts of their hard earned on such populist quick fix rubbish, I’ve done it too. Back in the day I used to buy every new book and cassette tape/CD program that I came across and you know what I got? I got Worse.

Why worse? Because there came a point I started to believe there was something seriously wrong with me. These self-help guru types made it sound so easy. So why wasn’t I getting it?

I’ve stared into the mirror till my eyes teared up and repeated affirmations until they haunted me in my sleep. No pasó nada.

Tried role modeling different people; emulating their walk, talk, attire and so forth. I think I would have aped their bowel movements had I been able to get close enough to witness those particular private moments; and of course the stalking laws are always at the back of ones mind.

I’ve paid good money to attend seminars, the presenters of which were nothing more than pumped up energizer bunnies popping wisdoms like popcorn … butter oozing and everything.

I’ve tried creative visualization, the law of attraction, goal setting, not caring and more. No deal.

I’ve travelled from Australia to the US to listen to a guy who sat in a chair and announced he had a direct line to God.

Dude said that God would, through him, provide us peons with all the answers. Well, God must have been tending to the apple tree that day because all we got was some mumbo jumbo about everything being just as it should be. Thanks scoop.

A friend took me to a spiritualist church where a woman would get up and read the leaves that you brought in with you. There was a small tree outside this building they called a church and most attendees, including me, ripped off a few leaves on the way in for this oracle to read. That poor tree.

The only thing the majority of this self-help caper does is make a handful of people rich. It’s a huge business.

In a Forbes article, titled, “What People Are Still Willing To Pay For,” written by a Melanie Linder, it is stated that: Americans spent $11 billion in 2008 on self-improvement books, CDs, seminars, coaching and stress-management programs–13.6% more than they did back in 2005, according to Marketdata Enterprises, an independent Tampa-based research firm that tracks everything from adoption agencies to funeral homes. Latest forecast: 6.2% annual growth through 2012.

In the same article, Steve Salerno, author of Sham: “How the Self-Help Movement Made America Helpless,” is quoted as follows: Whatever they think you’re deficient in, they’re selling the solution. This industry is exploitive, he says. It takes advantage of people’s weaknesses.

What these people are really selling is hope. It is false hope however because it is hope based on reinforcing ego grandiosity and a belief that no real effort is required.

The key issue is the peddlers of false hope never even attempt to approach the core issue- ego.

That is because they are so genuinely deluded themselves they lead their fellow humans deeper into ego with them. These people are at the very best performers and at worst Judas-goats.

Unfortunately a huge number of folks latch onto this seemingly effort free option of just reading, listening, praying and talking about success and spiritual attainment. It should be said that if doing those things brings them some comfort and respite so be it. As long as they don’t expect serious and real changes to occur. As long as they realize that all that happens is the ego gets refreshed until a more up to date book, CD or sermon arrives.

To those wanting genuine change and betterment and where every dollar spent counts I say: be careful. Be careful to whom, and to what, you are listening. Majority of the material out there is, in my experience, about as useful as a skunk at a romantic dinner.

Genuine transformation requires genuine commitment and serious work. By serious work I don’t mean one becomes grim and humorless, or ridiculously intense, but sincere determination is a must. You cannot skip and giggle your way into joy, happiness and enlightenment.

There is a great deal more to joy and happiness than making believe everything is just wonderful, jumping up and down in front of a mirror, reciting affirmations and attracting abundance while going around doing the same things done yesterday.

No matter how often or with how much vigor you try and affirm a delusion, it can never be the truth. Trying to turn a delusion into truth is akin to trying to turn raw sewage into pristine drinking water.

You see there is only one-way to peace, love and happiness; Your Way. And Your Way is found by living Your Life.

I realize that may sound a little strange to many however; it’s an undeniable fact.

When Christians, or anyone else for that matter, say Jesus died for your sins, that’s pure ego-talk.

That there is no sin, only errors, is another discussion, but neither Jesus nor anyone you care to name, can undo anyone else’s errors, simply because no one, and no thing, can live anyone else’s life.

Everyone must do their own living and their own undoing.

Finding and living ones own life means embracing the life path that contains situations and scenarios specific to each individual and resolving the issues within those situations and scenarios which are, as stated, individual-specific, and exclusively personal.

No one sees or feels the same about a situation or incident as you do. And there is a very good reason for that. The incidents and situations you are seeing and experiencing you created.

Like Jesus, like Buddha, like Lao Tzu and every other great one, you and I have our very own challenges and blocks to undo. No one, and no thing, can undo them for us simply because we were the ones who put them there.

You want love, peace, happiness and plenty? Find your own life and live that.

Do not for a moment think that you cannot do it. You are as great and as holy as Jesus, Buddha, Lao Tzu or any master you care to name.

Takeaway Point: If you want true Love and genuine Happiness accept they are already part of you. Then, do what is required to remove the blocks preventing you from experiencing those things.

See you on the bright side.

Nick Z Moran

HOW TO FIND LOVE AND HAPPINESS

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